16th Anniversary
We celebrated sixteen wonderful years of marriage! No getaways this time as I need to pump every 2-3 hours while our new baby is in the hospital NICU. We tried some fish/shrimp tacos at a new Mexican Seafood restaurant, strolled along downtown Payson, and enjoyed a relaxing bath filled with epsom salts! It’s the simple joys for us!
If my doctor cleared me, I would have loved to hike the trail we did while I was pregnant. Some trees and rocks and flowers and sky and water would do me some good.
What have I learned these past years? I’m still thinking on it… but our experience at dinner reminded me of one lesson I can share. Jer was deciding between ordering carne asada or shrimp tacos, and I reminded him that we were at a Seafood restaurant and he could get some really good carne asada down the street. He laughed because this is similar to what he tells me when I think to order salmon at every steak place he’s ever taken me. I always complain about how not great the salmon is and never learn! So what did he do? He chuckled and I knew what he chuckled at in his mind because it’s the same thing I was laughing to myself about, and then decided to take his own advice and ordered what ended up being fantastic shrimp tacos.
So here’s the Love lesson…
Don’t Order Seafood at a Steakhouse
“You knew what you married!” Jer jokes when he’s being extra teasing. His sense of humor is one of the many qualities I love about him. He can diffuse tension and always bring a smile to me. One time I asked him to just be serious for once, and he tried (he really did) but his attempt at “serious” was actually laughable and I hated it! I think what this lesson means is… we can’t change our spouse, and if we did we probably wouldn’t like the results.
Another way I interpret this is: Know your spouse and celebrate where they shine. In 16 years this has meant trying to understand my husband’s A.D.D. tendencies. It’s unproductive and discouraging to constantly make him feel bad for not remembering things or getting on his case to be more organized. Could I ask him to do more of these things when it’s difficult for him and against his nature? Yes, and he tries so hard to please me. But it builds up our relationship so much more when I’m working with his strengths rather than focusing on what I think he should change and offer me. When there’s hiking and teaching and cooking stuff all over the place- I can choose to appreciate his creativity, resourcefulness, and adventurous qualities.
It works out because my strengths include keeping us on track and wrangling chaos into submission. We complement each other in that way! I wouldn’t want him to expect me to change who I am or the biggest things about me- but to love me with all of it. And I’d want to do the same for him.
So offer each other your best! Just like with the restaurant 😉
Happy Anniversary to My Everything (Jeremy), the best partner for me!
Love, Kat
