If You Marry A High School Teacher

If you marry a high school teacher… he’ll probably ask you to the prom or homecoming every year (as a chaperone, of course).

All that excitement will have you discussing fundraising ideas for next year, so he might ask for a pen to write them down. He can find them in the drawer dedicated to all the pens he accidentally brings home.

That drawer will remind him of all the other drawers, closets, and boxes full of school logo clothing he’s been coming home with every season. He’ll want to try one on!

Feeling fashionable, he’ll ask you if he looks lit. Or too legit to quit… (Say what?) He will update you on the latest slang and trends kids are into these days. You may not be old, but you will feel old.

All dressed up with nowhere to go, he’ll want to attend the football game, baseball game, school play, or other activity his kids told him about and invited him to come support. Though it’s not possible to attend all these events, he will try to go!

Famished from all the whooping and cheering he did, he may ask to stop at your local burger joint. He’ll be recognized by a slew of kids (who aren’t even his students!), and you realize you can’t take this guy anywhere without running into people he knows.

Case in point: at the counter, he might say yes to a free refill from the kid taking your order who had his class last year, too!

Sipping your delicious refills, he will ask why the two of you haven’t had a date like this in a while. You’ll pull out your phone calendar where you show that he now oversees a club, coaches a sport, heads a large yearly field trip, participates in union meetings, needs to study for his teacher re-certification, etc.

The calendar on your phone will remind him of the BIG fundraiser coming up, where he wants to make lil’ smokies instead of mashed potatoes this year.

The lil’ smokies will remind him of a breakthrough activity for his lesson plan on The Jungle, his latest triumph in the classroom where the kids really got it. He’ll want to go to his classroom to prepare.

When you get to his classroom, he’ll try to find something in the pile of papers all over his desk. You might have to help him organize that… and his bookshelf… and his filing cabinet… and all the Tupperware he left in the break room.

Amidst the papers you’ve cleared, he will find late work kids turned in. Cray-cray late work. He’ll be all stressed out about grading, accountability he has no control over, and time and resources he needs to better help everyone. He won’t ask for it, but you clearly see he needs a massage.

Reluctant to go home because he has so much work to do, you both pass the hall with photos of students and he immediately cheers up. He asks if he has ever told you how honored he is to be at the crossroads in the lives of these amazing kids.

​Crossroads reminds him of the car, and not to forget his keys in his classroom again! He talks about his kids all the way home, and how lucky he is to be a teacher. Even though you don’t understand it you can see his passion, endurance, and kindness. He’ll share how glad he is that you listen to and care for him.

All that appreciation might make you both starry-eyed and twitter-pated. Then that high school teacher may just ask you to marry him. And if you marry a high school teacher… you might not be able to resist saying, “That’s lit.”

By Kat Lloyd. Dedicated to my husband the high school teacher