NICU Diaries: Week 13
Baby is 40 weeks corrected gestational age.
Read about last week: Week 12!
Day 85: Henry’s World
Baby’s vital signs are stable and he loved his bath last night! He lost a little bit of weight (only 13g, less than half an ounce), but it’s nothing to worry about. Nurse Kayleigh gave him some milk drops with his paci after the bath, but he spit it out! He was too tired to take a bottle, so he just went to sleep. It’s kind of become a pattern for today.
Since feeding is the last big thing he needs to learn, it’s what we’re focusing on. I tried breastfeeding him at noon, but he was tired and also wanting to have his hands all over so we wrapped him and I tried a few positions. In less than 10mins he got 7ml. He sure tooted a lot through Cares, feedings, and even in between when we had to change his bum again. I think much of his discomfort involves pushing his stool.
We tried breastfeeding again at 3pm and he wouldn’t take, so we cuddled skin to skin instead. I couldn’t stop kissing the top of his perfectly round head. There were no more wires or plastic pieces in the way, and that was a wonderful feeling to connect with my baby all natural. I even got to stroke his perfectly soft little cheek once. He has that brand new baby smell, one of my favorite scents in the whole world. 
Our nurses have said that Baby goes from zero to sixty, which is pretty accurate. He’s perfectly quiet and content one moment, and wailing at the highest volume the next. Nurse Haley says that he is the most vocal baby she’s ever seen and he acts like an 80 year-old man bending over looking for something, “This is Henry’s world,” she says, “and we just live in it.”
We had a new to us nurse practitioner today, and she was surprised that she hadn’t rounded on Henry yet during his long stay. She was so kind and a good listener, able to calm Baby with a gentle touch while I pumped. Our discussion ended with how we just need to be patient and she gave me a nice big hug. It was a long day, and I thought I was doing really well until I started driving home and began to cry. Hours and hours I spent with Baby Henry, how was it not enough when I missed the smell of him and his little grunting noises? My heart felt a pang from the empty spot where we should be together.
Day 86: Content Baby
I’ve been putting off cutting my hair even though it bothers me so much because I make the choice to eat or wash a load on the rushed mornings instead. Today I was so relaxed while finally cutting my hair after months, I might have cut it a little too short. With no time to lose, I dropped the boys off at school a little early so I could be a little late but still there for a morning breastfeeding session, and be back in time to pick them up from school.
Baby was so content this morning! When I walked in he was quiet in Nurse Kristi’s arms as she charted. All his Cares and test weight were already done, so he was ready to go and she plopped him in my lap. He was awake, alert, and had stamina enough to breastfed 16mL from both sides in football without a single peep of protest! As a matter of fact he seemed happy! I needed to pump, but our nurse reminded me that my milk supply is really good and that holding him for 30mins while the rest of his feeding finished would be okay. That helped me relax to enjoy bonding and was a great decision! We listened to some acoustic guitar versions of my favorite primary songs and I tried burping him. I loved that Baby loved being held in my arms and fell asleep peacefully on me.
I could have many more mornings like today with this little angel.
He’s now 7lbs 5oz. I wish I had time to stay longer today and watch him enjoy hydrotherapy, try out a bottle, or read him a story. Next time, my sweet little guy.
Day 87: Heartbroken
I’m eating my feelings today and apparently those feelings are half a loaf of French bread and 4 pumpkin cookies. Mostly, I am heartbroken about not being able to see my baby. I found a cold sore forming today and can’t see him until it’s healed 😭 That could be a week or more. Bottom line I have a virus that can cause infection and easily be spread to Baby through any contact with the affected area, especially with kissing the baby- and I admit that urge to kiss my baby is very powerful. To keep him safe I need to stay away. I knew eventually I’d get sick and need to leave him at the hospital, but never imagined it would be over something like this.
I can drop off milk to the front desk, but not come into the unit. F and I went on our mother-son date to the board game store, and dropped off my pumped milk to the hospital beforehand. I miss my baby sooooooo much!
Henry took about 25% of his feed in the last 24 hours, an improvement. They are going to drop his food volume a little since he’s been growing pretty well to hopefully stimulate his hunger more. The dietician recommended adding another fortifier to my milk to help him grow lengthwise in addition to continuing to grow with his weight and head.
Day 88: Video and Voicemail
Since I can’t visit Baby in the hospital yet, I love checking in on him via the live stream camera. He stretches so big wriggling to get comfortable, and I see his little chest move up and down as he breathes, his big eyes blinking in thought or getting heavy with sleep. I tell him how strong he’s growing and how I miss him and love him so much, even though he can’t hear me. I send him kisses through the void and hope he knows I will come back for him. I’m so grateful the NICU has this technology so that parents like me who are separated from our baby can feel connected.
Nurse Kayleigh wrote messages to us from Baby, and that helps me stay in touch with his care. It meant so much to me to read this today: “Good morning, mom and dad! Last night my weight stayed the exact same as the previous night! At my 9 PM cares, I took 19 mL from the bottle, but then I threw up a little. I was too tired to eat at midnight, but at 3 AM I took 33 mL! I was too tired again at 6 AM to eat. I know you can’t come in right now, but I hope you are able to come in soon! In the meantime, I’ll get extra snuggles from my nurses until I can see you! Love, Henry” ❤️
His doctor called and said no changes to his care. Henry took 25% of his feeds orally again. He’s been spitting it up a few times, probably because the beta protein they’re fortifying my milk with is hard to digest at first.
I’ve been concentrating on what I can do for Henry, which is pumping and trying to recover. My milk supply is going strong! Jer and I grocery shopped and he made a fantastic chicken noodle soup with mashed potatoes. I can’t wait to hold Baby Henry again.
Day 89
Jer stayed for a couple of Care sessions with Baby today. Baby Henry is getting better and stronger at bottle feeding, and taking over 30mL (over half his volume) when he does. I’m so excited for his progress! I have been staring at his video stream as I pump, eat, brush my teeth, and every time I miss him which is often. I saw him being so cute while we were eating at the dinner table, and Jer recorded a video of it because the faces Baby made were just too adorable to miss.
Day 90
Jer went to the morning Cares time and did FaceTime with me while he burped Baby Henry after bottle feeding. Poor kiddo had hiccups and was teetering between being wide eyed and so tired. It’s a lot of work extracting milk! He did spit up quite a bit; Jer learned it was from holding the bottle too far into Baby’s mouth. We are all learning! He’s taking over 50% of his feeding volume, so that’s amazing! Jer said the nurses are thinking it MAY be possible to go home in the next 1-2 weeks. MAYBE.
Day 91: 41 Weeks
While watching from the live cam, I spied my sweet little boy peeking out from his swing and being so cute and curious. He looked around with wide eyes and opened and closed his hands. Hours later Jer was able to visit with him. The board showed that baby Henry is 7 lbs. 10 oz. He was very sleepy for most of the day and then was alert at the night hours. He must have been so tired from all his eating efforts yesterday because he only did like 30ish and 19mL, and slept through half of his feeds.
The reality of Henry coming home sometime soon is sinking in. I ordered the gliding rocking chair with plans to rearrange my room for it. I’m looking at getting a stroller and other things like a bath tub and bottle warmer.
Read about next week: Week 14!
Check out more weeks from our NICU journey here.
