Struggles of a Coach’s Wife During Wrestling Season
Hallelujah, state tournament is over and I have my husband back!!! Slowly regaining sanity at the end of wrestling season that started in November.
I thought after years of being a teacher’s wife with him coaching every winter I’d be a pro by now. Surprisingly it’s been the most difficult wrestling season yet. Towards the end there I almost tripped right before the finish line. While everyone was doing KonMarie cleaning up their lives, I was wallowing in chaos inside and out.
There were days I just cried and cursed in bed, praying to make it through one more hour, because I didn’t have another ounce of energy to get up and repeat the cycle of an endless day/night caring for others or getting stuff done alone. Very alone. It got to the point where I called Jer and asked him, “What is this all for? What do we get out of it? Why do we keep doing this every year? Why am I doing this?” He had no answers for me.
Weeks prior in an impulsive rant I haphazardly cut my hair over the bathroom trash can, and didn’t even care to try to make it straight—just hacked away so I wouldn’t have to feel it on me anymore. I had no one to watch the kids so that I could get a professional cut, until my mental breakdown on the phone when Jer told me he was coming home and I should go out.
I’m pretty sure I looked like a mess to that sweet lady who fixed my hair. I told her what I did and she said it was a common occurrence for women to take scissors to their hair when it was the only thing in their control. I realized she was right—I guess I did act out on my hair when I felt like everything else was taking over. In the daily struggles of eating, naptime, or getting anything accomplished with young children, I have NO say in it—I’m just trying to put all the ducks in a row to maybe appease the tyrant without becoming abusive.
There are many other challenges left to face, and only my prayers to comfort me.
My daughter L has been my grace and a tender mercy. She volunteers to watch the boys when she comes home from school so I can have a shower for the first time in 4 days. She’s hyper-sensitive to my moods even though I try to hide it from her when I’m having hard days. During those days she gives me such strength with her hugs and the most heartfelt words, “Mom, what can I do for you?” No one could ask for a sweeter child!
Today her white dress came in the mail that she picked out for her upcoming 8th birthday, a special day because she’s looking forward to her baptism the day after when she can wear her dress. It’s gorgeous with flutter sleeves, a pleated bodice, and a beautiful sheer overlay to give it some delicate volume, with an empire waist so it almost looks like a pinafore. She can even wear it in the winter with a long sleeved shirt and tights underneath. She twirled in the mirror when she tried it on, and glowed like an angel. I had to hold her so tight, I could feel her growing up right before my eyes.
Our baby sits at the table with us now and tries to eat like a big boy. No more high chair! I do applaud his efforts, but cleaning up afterwards is a bummer.
F has really blossomed with his speech and tries to tell me things all the time but I don’t understand him a lot. He sings “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” most often in the car, and Bingo while playing cars. Most recently I’ve been trying to plan Farm themed activities to teach him some words and intentionally play.
We got a little Matchbox Barn and a tractor and cart at the thrift store where I spent less than $3 (score!). I’ve spent over a week looking for farm animal toys, though!
