Tears in Heaven: Baby Gavin
This song has been playing in my heart every time I think of this sweet angel called home to heaven.
Would you know my name?
If I saw you in heaven
Would it be the same?
If I saw you in heavenI must be strong
And carry on
‘Cause I know I don’t belong
Here in heaven
Eric Clapton wrote it heartbroken from the death of his young son Conor. The words are tender and bittersweet, but this line also feels hopeful.
Beyond the door
There’s peace, I’m sure
And I know there’ll be no more
Tears in heaven
We got the call on Sunday, March 13th from Jeremy’s brother that baby Gavin didn’t have long, and we were able to say our last goodbyes over FaceTime. He was still making little cooing and gurgling noises, acknowledging as we told him how much we loved him as his Dad held his hand. He was normally a very happy baby; I remember Jer shared with me a funny photo they posted of Gavin asleep in his crib with ALL his toys in his arms to one side like he just couldn’t part with any of them.
His parents have poured their hearts and souls into caring for him over the course of his 14 months of life with frequent hospitalizations, at home feeding tubes, physical therapy, seizures, and uncertainty. Gavin had a rare genetic condition called SIFD TRNT1 gene deficiency (Sidroblastic Anemia Immunodeficiency Fever Devopmental Delay). With only 58 cases worldwide ever, there is not much information or treatment options.
Gavin was featured on the local news to help raise awareness. We hoped that someone out there had a resource or connection that would lead to more information about his rare disease. The last I heard, Gavin was getting ready for a bone marrow transplant as his best chance to prolong his life.
Months of hoping, praying, fasting, anxiety, stress, giving their all to fight for Gavin’s life… ultimately for the disease to take him. It wasn’t the first time they’ve had a child suffer this fate, and perhaps all the trauma from that tragedy compounded the pain exponentially. The family was inconsolable. We had no idea how to help. No words can comfort, nothing can make anything better when you’re in it. Even those who were there didn’t know how. All we could do was cry with them, and tell them we love them. I have so much love and respect for Jeremy’s brother and my sister-in-law, who under the most heart wrenching conditions are trying to move forward.
He was buried next to his brother Graham, and grandfather Paul. I imagine them in heaven with great joy holding and caring for each other. We believe that families last beyond this life (forever), and that yes- we will remember each other, our bodies restored to its perfect form without disease or suffering. I hope the only tears we’ll have are tears of joy.
“I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.
John 14:18, 27
Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”
Love, Kat
To help support the Lloyd family, click here.
