Spill the Beans
Every time the kids begged for a sibling, I told them to take it up with Heaven because divine intervention was the only way it was going to happen. We thought we were done having kids, but God had been preparing my heart for years. Last summer the gentle whisperings I’d been pushing aside grew into strong, urgent promptings. Jer felt the same promptings, so we moved forward in faith.
After eight months of trying, and nearly eight years since my last pregnancy, it feels surreal to be here again. Jer is so excited and already coming up with names. I think he wants it to be twins (and so do several of the kids), but I told him we’re lucky to get one child and it’s still early. We won’t officially announce until next month, but we’re super excited and filled with love for this tiny human I’m growing! This will be our first baby who isn’t due in the summer. I’m so thankful that God has answered our prayers and is blessing us.
Going into my first appointment, I was so nervous! It was a very rainy day and I wanted to prepare myself for the possibility of bad news. At my age, and with my history, there could be plenty of complications. Wearing a yellow dress gave me a bit of positivity, calm, and courage. Seeing our baby on ultrasound, hearing that fast, strong heartbeat, and having the doctor reassure me of the baby’s health filled me with overwhelming joy.
The kids were on to us for weeks prior, but Jer and I decided to confirm with them that day by sharing the photos from the ultrasound. They couldn’t stop smiling, laughing, and talking about the baby. The kids are trying their best to keep it a secret from everyone else for now. Apparently F already told his piano teacher, then finished with, “Ssh, it’s a secret” 😂 As if that somehow covered him.
I forgot how difficult the first trimester can be. This baby has some intense sensitivity… my car sickness is increased. The windows need to be open with the cold air in my face when we’re driving. I’ve tried lots of foods to see what I can eat, as I have a bloodhound sense of smell and the nausea and food aversions has been strong. I could smell anything in the fridge that had gone bad, and was especially turned off by meat and onions. Going grocery shopping, preparing meals, cleaning out the fridge, and anything food-related was difficult. I’m learning to eat small meals every hour and a half, with protein to lessen the nausea. I’ve developed quite a sweet tooth, especially for chocolate and strawberries. I realized I get tired at the most awkward times, and caught myself napping just about anywhere—the dental office, the soccer field, even the hallway. The low energy and fatigue hits hard, especially while I’m caring for a very sick husband for weeks or dealing with our busy life. I need all the rest I can get!
Our codeword for the baby is “Bean”. The kids proudly hung the ultrasound on the fridge and added the word “Bean” next it. L calls the baby “Little Bean” or “Baby Bean”, and hopes her prayers for a little sister will be answered. F calls the baby “she” and “her” even though he claims he doesn’t mind having a baby brother or sister. W insists he needs a baby brother.
Every day they give me the biggest hugs and say hello or goodnight to Bean. They love asking me about when they were babies and what it was like being pregnant with each of them. It’s beginning to sink in that this will be our last baby, and I want to slow down and savor every part of this experience. This little one already has so many people who love them. It touches my heart to think that we get the chance to have a baby in our home once more as we look back through old photos and videos. Our home has been filled with so much laughter, sweet moments, cute little hands, excited jumps, and even sad cries. It feels like it was yesterday, and yet it’s tomorrow.
Please pray for us and our little miracle as we continue this journey.
Love,
Kat
