Spill the Beans
Every time the kids begged for a sibling, I told them to take it up with Heaven because divine intervention was the only way it would happen. We thought we were done having kids. Well, God has been mentally preparing me for years now, and last summer the gentle whisperings that I had been pushing aside grew to strong urgent promptings. Jer had the same, so we moved forward with faith. After 8 months of trying and about 8 years since our last time being pregnant, it feels surreal to be here again. Jer is so excited and already coming up with names. I think he wants it to be twins (and so do several of the kids), but I told him we’re lucky to get one child and it’s still early. We won’t officially announce until next month, but we’re super excited and filled with love for this tiny human I’m growing! Our first baby not due in summer. I’m so thankful that God has answered our prayers and is blessing us.
Going in to my first appointment, I was so nervous! It was a very rainy day and I wanted to prepare myself for the possibility of bad news. At my age and with my history there could be lots of complications. Wearing a yellow dress gave me a bit of positivity, calm, and courage. It made me so happy seeing our baby on ultrasound, hearing the fast strong heartbeat, and having the doctor reassure me of the baby’s health with joy. The kids were on to us for weeks prior, but Jer and I decided to confirm with them that day by sharing the photos from the ultrasound. They couldn’t stop smiling and laughing and talking with us about the baby! The kids are trying their best to keep it a secret from everyone else for now. Apparently F has told his piano teacher and ended with, “Ssh, it’s a secret” 😂 as if that covered him.
I forgot how difficult the first trimester can be. This baby has some intense sensitivity… my car sickness is increased; I have to have the windows open and the cold air in my face when we’re driving. I’ve tried lots of foods to see what I can eat, as I have a bloodhound sense of smell and the nausea and food aversion has been strong. I could smell anything in the fridge that had gone bad, and was especially turned off by meat and onions. It made going grocery shopping, preparing meals, and cleaning out the fridge or doing anything food related troublesome. I’m learning to eat small and every 1.5 hours, with protein to try to lower the effects. Also developing a sweet tooth, especially for chocolate and strawberries. Another change is that now I realize I’m tired at the most awkward times, but take naps no matter where I am or what I’m doing—at the dental office, the soccer field, the hallway. The low energy and fatigue hits hard, especially while I’m caring for a very sick husband for weeks or dealing with our busy life. I need all the rest I can get!
Our codeword for the baby is “Bean”. The kids put the ultrasound on the fridge and the letters “Bean” on it. L calls the baby “Little Bean” or “Baby Bean”, and hopes her prayers for a little sister will be answered. F calls the baby “she” and “her” even though he claims he doesn’t mind having a baby brother or sister. W insists he needs a baby brother.
Every day they give me the biggest hugs and say hello or goodnight to Bean. They revel in asking me stories about when they were babies, or what it was like being pregnant with them. It’s dawned on me that this is our last baby and I’m going to try to slow down and appreciate the whole experience. This baby already has so many people who love him/her. It touches my heart thinking about the chance we have to enjoy a baby in our home again as we reminisce over their old baby photos and videos. We’ve had so many laughs, so many sweet moments, so many cute little hands and excited jumps and sad cries. It feels like it was yesterday, and yet it’s tomorrow.
Please pray for us and our little miracle!
Love,
Kat
