Running Away

“Why do I want to escape?” I asked. Google gave me some helpful links for depression and coping with the urge to run away. I haven’t been sleeping well, and apparently taking care of the needs of others requires lots of self-care that I haven’t put any effort into. Jer and I both had to leave the house, so he went biking and then I went running. I was angry when I started and when I finished. I had tried to get some kind of sleep/rest/nap all day, but during nap time things went wrong. F had his first potty accident in months, and woke his brother up who pounded on my locked door wanting a toy car. It seemed like torture not getting the nap I wanted while being as exhausted as I was. It also seemed counterintuitive to go for a run, but at that point it was to burn off steam since being overtired also makes it hard to deal with even small things. I felt much better after the fresh air, exercise, and a nice shower.

Jer and I cooked dinner together—an Instant Pot BBQ pulled chicken that made our day. He told me that he liked working next to me, and cooking together, and doing so many other things with me. It sure has been special having him home more. We watched an episode of Monk that really affected me. He took out a pillow that belonged to his late wife, and smelled a corner of it that still had the scent of her lotion. Her ghost was telling him that he didn’t even like that lotion, and he said that he didn’t feel that way now.

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